My Mom Saves My Friendship... Almost

I was telling my mom about something I watched on Food Network today that involved grilling lamb, and my mom said that she really liked lamb and it was good.

I told her that if 'Dani'** and 'Beef'** make it to their one year anniversary, that we would be having lamb.

"Dani should have the party anyway, it sounds like fun with or without Beef!" I said, nonchalantly peanut buttering my bread.

"She and him should have a Go To Hell party like me and your dad did before we separated."

Uhhhh,

"Who in the what now?"

"Yeah, you've never heard of a Go To Hell party?"

"Should I have? What does a party of that nature entail? Are there games?"

"Naw, we just went out, got high, got drunk, and told each other to go to hell. We had to repent later, but you know."

There's so much about my family that I don't know.

Anyhow, my best friend is currently in DC applying for a job and she hasn't sat and talked to me in like 4 days, just a lot of messages back and forth. I was ready to disown her until I heard this story because I just had to relay it to someone.

So friendship saved right? Well it was until the heiffa didn't answer!

I'm on the BFF market, applications are currently being accepted.


**names have been changed uncreatively to protect the innocent